The Pub fire escape

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The pub fire-escape.

This was one of those days when you got to say "I told you so" and make the boss cringe. I had made a fire escape and had the pleasure of fitting it to the back of a pub right out in the middle of nowhere, it was more than likely a listed building, as it was very old, and one of those places that seems to have evolved over many generations, with bits added hear and there to allow for the continued growth of holiday makers and residents.

Well this was a two flight straight stair case, and it came off the upstairs rear of the pub and ended up in the car park. But, oh there's always a but isn't there, when we arrived surpise surprise, the builder been standing inside when he bricked up the window and door to the store room, instead of being on the outside, so the window and door were the wrong way round, this meant that once the central landing was put up, no one would be able to open the door, a phone call to the boss is needed, but second problem and to my mind a much more serious one was, that there wasn't any foundation for the central landing, just the tarmac of the car park, a phone call to the boss is most definitely needed.

Well problem one was duly sorted, as a brickie turned up within the hour in his Jaguar of all things, and knocked the wall down and rebuilt it, he didn't say one single word to us the whole time he was there. Problem two however just goes to show what a complete idiot you can be and still own your own company, so walk away I said, no said the boss, put it up anyway, its not my fault there's no foundation, it will sink said I. I think "Just do it" was his last words and that was the end of the phone call.

Well my apprentice looked at me, we looked at the tarmac, shrugged and made a start, got the face plate up on the back of the building, which then gives you position for the central landing, stuck the landing in place, obviously we couldn't actually fix it to anything, bolts don't work to well in tarmac. We got the stringers (stairs side plates) up, bolted in the treads, added the handrail, and then watched as it started to pull the back wall out of the pub, oops.

Okay what shall we do now, watch a pub collapse, no what a waste, so I tied the staircase to the lorry, and drove the bugger forward and pulled the whole thing back where it should have been, chocked the wheels and made another phone call. But hey this one was such fun, The stair case is up I said, good he said, trouble is the pubs coming down as its sinking into the tarmac. You'd better come back and get some steel to support it we were told, cant I said the lorry is holding the pub up. That worked, he came to see us, we took it down again, saved the pub, what a hero...Tell you what though he never ignored me again.